Season 3, Episode 13: "Deja Q"

Hoo-boy, this is one of the most batshit TNG episodes I've come across yet, so strap in and get ready for "Deja Q!"

We begin with the Enterprise trying to help out an alien planet whose moon has somehow shifted out of orbit and is about to crash into it, Flash Gordon style. But Sam J. Jones is not around to "save every one of them," so it's up to our intrepid Starfleet crew to figure something out. After a couple of Geordi and Data's ideas have minimal effect on moving the moon, a fully nekkid Q suddenly appears on the bridge, suspended vertically in air, with only a flash of light covering his private bits!

This caused me to chuckle heartily, but I was soon laughing like a lunatic at Picard's reactions to Q's bullshit:

Capt. Picard: Return that moon to its orbit.

Q: I have no powers! Q the ordinary.

Capt. Picard: Q the liar! Q the misanthrope!

Q: Q the miserable, Q the desperate! What must I do to convince you people?

Worf: Die.

Q: Oh, very clever, Worf. Eat any good books lately?

This is the fourth or fifth time Q has shown up and it's clear that with the pressure of dealing with the plummeting moon on his plate, Jean-Luc has absolutely zero f**ks to give about anything Q has to say. Eventually Q claims that he didn't cause the moon to fall and that he isn't there to be an omnipotent pain in the balls because, you see, he was kicked out of the Q Continuum and transformed into the worst thing possible...a normal human being!

This sets off a chain reaction of incredibly entertaining banter/one-liners/incessant whining from Q, as he struggles with being thrown in the brig and being unable to pass through the forcefield, having to wear clothes, sleeping, needing to eat (he orders 10 hot fudge sundaes), feeling pain (Guinan STABS HIS HAND WITH A FORK LIKE A BOSS), and being generally inconvenienced by working within the constraints of human technology. The best parts of the episode are his interactions with the deadpan Worf and the ever-curious Data, who delivers this brutally sad rebuttal to Q's complaints about being made mortal: "an irony. It means that you have achieved in disgrace what I have always aspired to be." Ouch.

Eventually, in order to get out of his cell, Q offers to put his intelligence--the only thing of value that he has left--to use to help the planet in peril, and hilariously tells Geordi to simply "change the gravitational constant of the universe!" Duh! That suggestion does spark an idea that will theoretically work, but things get even FURTHER complicated when a cloud of gaseous entities known as The Calamarain (this name would make more sense if they were squid-people) show up for revenge on Q and shock the ever-loving shit out of him whenever the Enterprise lowers its shields, which it is required to do in order to move the moon. This episode is WILD, guys.

With time running out, Q seemingly grows a conscience and steals a shuttle in order to draw the Calamarains away from the ship so it can finish pushing the moon away. Shortly thereafter, another Q being pops into the shuttle played by CORBIN EFFIN' BERNSEN at the height of his MAJOR LEAGUE and L.A. LAW powers! Corbin Q is just as much of a dick as de Lancie Q, and proves it by relentlessly needling Q and telling him he's the one who got him drummed out of the Continuum. (The back-and-forth assholery between the two is amazing.)

However, since Q is committing a selfless act by helping the Enterprise crew, Bernsen reluctantly restores Q's powers, and he immediately rubs it into Picard's face by appearing on the bridge in full Mariachi regalia, band in tow. He also leaves Data with a parting gift - laughter. Data momentarily bursts into uncontrollable hysterics, causing Picard to ruminate that "perhaps there's a residue of humanity in Q after all..." before a cigar magically pops up in the captain's hand and Q's distant voice mocks, "don't bet on it, Picard." Fini!

Wow. Absolutely wildly entertaining episode. de Lancie is top notch here and seeing him paired with Data while grappling with mortality was a brilliant call by the writing staff, as it opened the door for so many great little philosophical observations about what it is to be human. "Deja Q" is definitely my favorite Q episode thus far, and my favorite de Lancie performance. It's also the episode where one of the famous Picard facepalm memes comes from!